


Inevitable

by KXXIII



Series: Runaway Hats [1]
Category: Hat Films - Fandom, Hat_Films, Hatfilms, The Yogscast
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Runaway AU, runaway hats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:36:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KXXIII/pseuds/KXXIII
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trott's up late, a headache pounding in his skull, thinking about the whys of life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> ty so much to bro--strider for beta reading this for me!

Trott breathed in deeply, feeling the smoke fill his lungs. The bittersweet taste lingered in his mouth and he held his breath for a moment before letting go slowly. The smoke curled through his lips and around his face as he stared at the street outside. The pavement shone in the streetlamp light, still wet from the rain that had ended not too long ago. He squinted as a car, lights blaring, turned the corner onto the street before disappearing around another corner. The headache behind his eyes pounded and he sighed, slipping his free hand under his armpit. A snore caught his attention and he looked over at the two bodies curled up on the single bed. Smith snored again and murmured in his sleep before turning over, Trott’s lips quirking into a small smile before falling into a slight frown again.

Taking another drag on the joint glowing softly between his index and middle fingers, Trott leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

_‘Fuck’_ , he adjusted his feet into a more comfortable position, _‘fuck fuck fuck.’_

The pain in his head grew sharper and he gritted his teeth. 

_‘Why the fuck is this happening to me?’_ He felt tears prickle at the back of his eyes and he squeezed them shut even tighter.

_‘Did I do something to deserve this shit? Is some fucking higher power pissed at me? Am I being punished for something?’_

A tear escaped its prison and trailed down over a sharp cheekbone before Trott swiped at it angrily, muttering curse under his breath. He didn’t understand and it pissed him off. Why, at the age of 22, was he suddenly diagnosed with an irremovable brain tumor? It was bullshit. Then he went through months of chemo that made him feel even more shit. Hair fell out and mouth sores plagued him. It didn’t help that his family wanted to keep him locked up. 

“Fuck that,” Trott muttered to himself, taking another drag and hoping against hope that this goddamn migraine fucked off soon. 

After six months of chemo and being holed up for his ‘own good’, Trott had had enough. He’d packed important things before writing a letter and disappearing into the night. He didn’t know if it was considered running away since he was technically an adult, but that’s what it felt like. Running away from an overprotective family who just wanted him to lay in bed all day when Trott had been so active and adventurous before all this shit. Hell no. He was going to go out and live. He was going to experience as much of the world as he possibly could in the time he had left. He wouldn’t die feebly laying in bed, surrounded by mourning family. 

Smith made more noises in his sleep and Trott watched silently. Smith was a noisy ass sleeper. Snoring, snorting, talking in his sleep. He was also a fucking clingy bastard, always wrapping his arms and legs around whoever ended up beside him. It was a wonder he stayed asleep through it all. It annoyed Trott to no end when he couldn’t sleep, but he also found it endearing. How strange was that? 

Trott felt a warmth blossom in his chest and he shook his head, taking another drag. He was fond of the wanker, to put it lightly. 

Then there was Ross. 

Trott turned his gaze to the prone figure. Ross didn’t do much of anything in his sleep except cuddle, which was nice. Trott didn’t even mind on hot nights. They’d just sleep without blankets and with the air conditioning on high. The two giants sharing the bed were enough to keep him at a pleasant temperature. It also seemed as though Ross never had morning breath, which was a blessing compared to Smith’s horrendous odor. Smith wasn’t allowed to even breath in Trott’s direction until he brushed his teeth. Then he’d usually tackle the smaller man and attack him with kisses, making Trott complain teasingly. 

Ross was a warm kisser, his arms going around Trott and holding him close, hands clasped above Trott’s hips or rubbing his back. Sometimes Ross would grab Smith by his wrist and pull him in, all three of them resting against each other and taking in each other's’ presence. It made Trott’s heart ache.

Trott placed his free hand on his chest. It was terrifying to think about, dying, but what was worse was thinking about leaving these two behind. Sometimes he wished he’d never come across them in that near-empty bus station a few months ago. They wouldn’t have to go through his inevitable death. They wouldn’t have to grieve him. They could be happy together.

Trott hated himself for that sometimes. Especially when he would watch them play around together, arm in arm, singing, beatboxing, dancing. Slinging silly insults and wrestling. They looked so good together and their smiles were so bright at those times. They made each other so happy, Trott wondered if they’d been lovers in a previous life or something. On his side, he felt like a burden, like an extra who would end up causing more trouble than he’s worth.

It’s not that Trott felt like they didn’t care for him. He knew they did. They said so quite often, in fact. It was the opposite that was the problem. Even when he and Smith fought, they always made up soon enough and were back in each other’s arms.

When they made love or fucked, they took such great care of him. They treated him like a treasure, like a gift from above or some shit. They did what they could to make him feel good, being gentle or rough, whichever Trott needed at the time. It made him love them even more.

And he was going to end up leaving them. He knew they would have each other and that they would be fine and they would help each other. He just hated knowing that he was going to cause them pain, no matter what. That was what fucked him up the most.

Trott felt his hand tremor and he shook it impatiently, accidentally flinging his joint across the room. He swore and went to retrieve it when he suddenly felt his body jerk, his knees giving out and his body slamming into the floor.

Ross, having been half awake ever since he’d woken up to discover Trott out of bed, blinked his eyes open at the sound of a loud thud. He was confused for a moment before he heard Trott’s harsh breathing and choked sounds. Turning to Smith, Ross gave the other man a few hard shoves to wake him up, before he slid out of bed. He went to Trott and slipped a hand underneath Trott’s head to keep him from slamming it into the floor. 

Smith reached Ross’ side not too long after, helping him turn Trott onto his side as his body seized. They kept a gentle and loose hold on him, not wanting to put too much pressure on his body, but making sure that he didn’t injure himself by hitting his head. They waited nervously, glancing between each other and Trott as time passed. There was a moment where Trott started choking on his saliva but they tipped him forward a bit more so it would leak out.

Finally, Trott’s body slowly stopped jerking. Smith nabbed a few tissues and wiped around his mouth and chin, cleaning it of saliva. He then checked Trott’s mouth to see if he’d bitten his tongue or anything and shook his head at Ross when he’d made sure that there were no injuries. Ross rubbed his hands over Trott’s back and side, slowly massaging the tense and sore muscles into relaxing.

Trott came to slowly, confused and groggy. Smith met his gaze and smiled at him gently, brushing damp locks out of his face.

“Alright mate?”

It took a moment before Trott lifted his hand slightly to signal an okay. He was tired. Sleep sounded like a good idea. He felt like he needed to tell them something though. Pointing towards the door, Trott wiggled his fingers slightly to try and get Smith to notice the joint slowly burning a hole in the ugly motel carpet. Smith retrieved the joint and put it out, laying it in the ashtray on the bedside table before rejoining the other two. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Ross continuing to rub over Trott’s sore body and Smith running his fingers through Trott’s damp hair. Trott nearly fell asleep before Ross stood and picked him up, arms slipped underneath his shoulders and knees. He carried the smaller man over to the bed and laid him down, gently undressing him whilst Smith grabbed one of his own shirts and a pair of briefs. They redressed him before slipping in beside him, arms going around him, kissing his head and murmuring declarations of love. 

“I love you guys,” Trott murmured hoarsely as he slowly fell asleep between the two people he cared for most in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> pls let me know what you think! constructive criticism is always welcome. (:


End file.
